See You In the Funny Pages
by Me
Summary: The Tanners have a chance to become a comic strip, thanks to Joey's work with a literacy effort. Jesse's balking & Kimmy's goofiness as class president complicate things. Start of Season 6. Mostly what could have been real life had they had this idea, but story itself is from ideas in an AU in an alternate history forum - details inside.


A/N: This rose from a role play in the "alien space bats" forum of alternatehistory dot com (you have to be a member to read that section) where we posted as if we lived through the USA of 1983 being sent back in time and the 31 years to the present. The poster who started the thread has the US (along with other things like ending slavery) buy Mexico and other places from Spain (part of the US was plopped onto 1783 Spanish North America anyway.) As "Full House" starts, many are working to turn the new territories into ones that can become states, including implementing literacy programs for 5-6 million new Americans and acquainting them with Modern thinking.

One thing I did was explore changes in "Full House." I noticed in real life it had enough running gags and catch phrases to make a great comic strip. Hence I say some of this could have happened had they incorporated Book Universe ideas instead of a very separate BU where D.J.'s the oldest besides Danny on the 2nd floor with the office in the 4th bedroom & she's proactive from the start, leading to a much better behaved Michelle (and a Stephanie who wouldn't be influenced by Gia)

In this world, the Tanners introduce the spinoff to start Season 6, so those who watch (or listen on radio in the New Territories – and many wouldn't be affording that, much less have time to sit and watch TV since most would be farmers) can anticipate comics and, later, books. In the "1983 USA to 1783" universe improvements can lead to tourist development, but D.J.'s class wouldn't be in Spain for 6 weeks (likely New Territories for a couple). Jesse certainly wouldn't be touring 1792 Japan. So, 3 of the first 4 episodes would be overhauled from our world.

This teaser is from the first episode; Steph and Michelle would create comedy with Joey's puppets (which they bring to the airport) that form the plans for the comic till it's realized more is needed. This leaves the episodes below replacing "Road to Tokyo Parts 1 and 2." So, if this was the TVU of our universe, their becoming a comic strip would be changed, but not enormously.. (Then you have the universe they live in which is like ours except for their presence and things they change - lots of fun with all these unvierses, huh? :-)

See You In The Funny Pages

Joey Gladstone merrily ran in the front door of the Tanner home as Danny Tanner was just coming downstairs. "Guess what?" Joey asked happily as he closed the door.

Jesse Katsopolis looked up from where he and his wife, Becky, were holding their twin boys, Nick and Alex. "You developed a voice for the passenger pigeon," he teased.

"Even better. My agent got us the best gig," he told the family.

Danny turned to him and said, "I hope it's better than that cartoon you had that flopped."

"Wait, Dad, he said 'we,'" ten-year-old Stephanie pointed out as she looked up from a game she was playing with Michelle, almost six. She was the middle of Danny's three daughters. Danny's brother-in-law, Jesse, and best friend Joey lived there helping him raise the girls since Danny's wife Pam had died when Michelle was a baby.

"Well, I'm not giving my voice to a cartoon," Jesse spouted.

"You don't have to, Jess," Joey promised. "Just your face."

"That's good, I…" He suddenly jerked his head toward Joey and yelled, "What? I'm certainly not showing my face in a cartoon."

"I know how you can hide your face. Get a pie in it," Michelle quipped.

The Tanner clan was in the kitchen now, except for Becky – who was checking on Nicky and Alex, D.J., fifteen, and D.J.'s weird and dumb best friend Kimmy Gibbler. Joey had a guest, too.

"…So, Ted Lewis here came from the comic syndicate to talk about how he could use us."

"Yes," Ted explained, "Joey's act is quite funny, even without the voices, but while a bunch of toys might provide good ideas, we didn't think puppets alone would be enough."

"Look, I understand where you're coming from on the literacy," Jesse said, "but I don't want to be just a running gag." He stood and glared defiantly.

"How long did you spend on your hair this morning?" Joey teased.

"45 minutes, but that's not the point," Jesse spouted.

Danny grinned. "I think you're anxious 'cause they haven't called about a new gig for your band in weeks."

"Maybe you're right – even that music video's only in the 90s on the charts…" Jesse began.

The phone rang. Michelle picked it up. "Hello, Tanner residence. Fat Fish records?"

"Hey, that's for me…hey, gimme the phone…" Jesse chased Michelle around as she giggled with the phone "Gimme, gimme…" He finally grabbed it. "Hello? What? Sure, we'd love to." He called upstairs. "Becky! Yeah, I mean, are they advanced enough now… Becky!"

Becky put her hands slightly over her ears. "What is it, Dear?"

"Listen, you know how the US went back to 1783 and now we're building up the stuff we bought from Spain to be part of the U.S.?" He gestured with the phone. "We're gonna be one of the bands featured in Mexico City. 'Forever' is number one down there."

"Wow, that's great, honey," Becky exclaimed.

Stephanie looked at Michelle. "I know what to say to Michelle. How rude."

"I was just playing," Michelle said innocently, knowing Stephanie was referring to the phone. She ran off to play.

Jesse looked at Becky. "Would you be able to take off work for a week?"

Becky was still a bit astounded. "Sure. I guess. I wasn't sure how much a modern song like that would appeal to them down there.

"Hey, they're almost on the verge of the 19th century," Danny said. "Not that it's an oldie."

Ted finally spoke up as the call ended. "Although that brings up a good point; any song – even a new one – appealing to the Retro world could make it an oldie, which can lead to some comical situations."

"Sure, and then you have Jesse's Elvis obsession. That's as natural as Dagwood slamming into the mailman," Joey said, deliberately goading Jesse.

Jesse stepped away from the phone and prepared to go back up with Becky. "Look, I told you I am not going to be part of a comic strip; now, if you'll excuse us, we need to pack."

"Come on, Jess, it's not just you. I have things about me they can use, or they can invent funny guests for the show," Becky reminded him.

Joey put in, "Then there's Danny's cleaning obsession, the girls' quirks plus your twins getting into things, it'll be fun from the whole family," Joey related.

"So, I'll make sure Jesse has an extra bag for his hair care supplies," Becky teased.

Jesse held up his hands. "Look, don't even think about me. Just wait; something will come along that'll let you have your laughs without it having anything to do with me."

Suddenly, D.J., her boyfriend Steve, and Kimmy came in the door.

"You are looking at the new tenth grade class president," Kimmy announced.

"See, problem solved," Jesse said as he and Becky went upstairs.

"Kimmy, not even someone from the 1790s would vote for you," Stephanie said.

"No, but the tenth grade did," Kimmy said.

"She was one of a slate of candidates the 'Party Hearty' Party ran," Steve explained.

D.J. held up a hand. "But, don't worry, Dad; I will keep very close watch on parties."

"So, what was your platform, besides public embarrassment?" Danny asked.

"Just wait, Mr. T.. The 'Party Hearty' Party will make Bayview High a place nobody will want to leave," Kimmy guaranteed as Steve grabbed food out of the refrigerator.

"Good thing; some of them will be in summer school," Danny quipped.

"Does Jesse think her presidency would be good for the papers?" Ted asked.

Kimmy became excited. "The paper? Great. Deej, tell him how I've celebrated my birthday different days. I can have every President's birthday. Even Buchanan's!"

"Kimmy," D.J. informed her, "Buchanan was a failure."

"Then why'd they name the school after him on 'Welcome Back, Kotter'?"

Ted chuckled. "This is good. A comic strip about a class president with a party like that could be quite funny. Do you think your parents would mind?"

"Are you kidding? They'd want to join the fun," Kimmy declared.

"Although,' D.J. began hesitantly, "Kimmy's, well…" D.J. wasn't sure how to say it without hurting her best friend's feelings, yet while telling Ted that Kimmy could be really dumb – not exactly a trait that should be featured if it was based on a real person.

Stephanie jumped in, however, with, "Kimmy, you're too dumb for the funnies."

"Hey, watch it, Squirt. I'm dumb enough for anything," Kimmy spouted.

Maybe that clued him in, D.J. considered. "Anyway, Sir, she won't go it alone. I'll be helping her a lot. Oh, you'll be President," she promised Kimmy, "but you'll…"

"I think 'figurehead' is the word you want," Stephanie said.

Kimmy looked oddly at Stephanie. "You mean the actual rulers will be a military junta?" she asked incredulously, pronouncing the "j" like it was an English word like "juice," rather than with an "h" sound.

"Let's say creative control will be important to Danny, as well as to the tenth grade," Joey said.

"Right, I mean, I know we discussed it before, but if you can use her instead, why not do it only based off of her?" Danny asked.

"Dad, I know you're not sure, but to help Kimmy…" D.J. decided she could say this much without hurting Kimmy's feelings. "So she doesn't get made fun of too much," D.J. told Danny. "If she's just one part, it might be better."

Joey grinned. "Like 'Family Circus.' The author based it on his own kids, but came up with his own gags, too, at times, and the kids were in a different order and some names might have been changed." Ted concurred.

"Names changed? So, I could be Madonna?" Kimmy remarked. "And, if the comic me has a rock band perform at the highs chool, maybe a real one will show up."

"Who needs a circus when you've got the next door neighbor?" Danny asked rhetorically.

Jesse and Becky looked around as they left the airport. "Look at this; they built an airport, they've got some brick roads, it's not half bad."

Becky nodded while pushing a double stroller; Jesse wheeled a cart with their luggage. "Jess, don't you think we should have rented a car?"

"Come on, Becky, they said the motel's right near the airport, so they can get all that electricity where it's needed. Besides…" He looked around. "Wait, where are we?"

"Maybe we better ask directions," Becky suggested.

Jesse waved off the idea. "Come on, Becky, it's gotta be around here somewhere. I mean, how much could they do in 9 years since whatever copied us and plopped us back in 1783?"

Becky was stunned. "Quite a bit, considering that they'd like for this to become a few states by the 20th anniversary, and this is going to be the capital." Jesse rolled his eyes. "Jesse, the goal is to have this place at least the level of the poorest U.S. state by then, which means a lot of work. Now, come on, ask for directions."

"Come on, Becky, you know how I hate to do that," Jesse complained.

"Of course I know; but if we're going to show these people from the late 18th century how to adapt to modern ways the best way is to lose some of that macho pride and ask for directions."

"What is this, a 'Be a good example' speech?"

"Jess, what is your problem?"

"What's my problem? I'll tell you what my problem is; I don't know any Spanish."

Becky glared at him. "What?"

Jesse sighed. "Yeah, all this excitement coming here, I sort of forgot to mention I wouldn't know any of the language. Well, a few words – I know the most important phrase in Spanish…"

"Then use it."

"I don't think this is the time…"

Becky pointed to a person walking by. "Jesse, I dare you – go up to that person and use your Spanish."

Jesse sighed. "Oh, all right." He walked up to the person and said, "Pardon moi, donde esta quartro el bano." Becky held her head in one hand and shook it.

(Commercial)

Jesse had just used the French word for "me" and then asked, in Spanish, "Where's the bathroom." The gentleman laughed. "Right this way. Are you looking for a motel?"

"Yeah. Hey, how come you speak English?"

"I'm one of the volunteers who came down to help. You must be Jesse Katsopolis; I think I recognize you," he said. "My name is Mark, by the way."

"Yeah, this is my wife Becky and our twin boys. So, I guess I'm popular here, huh? Jesse asked as the man guided them after he told them which motel he wanted.

Mark concurred. "For the fact many people still hold to old, 19th century ways that are only slowly changing, yes. Arranged marriages are still common, but the notion of loving someone forever, of that kind of devotion, is something they crave as they've learned about it."

"Sure; Modern ideals like equality, people not just being born into a caste; even what girls and women can do, too," Becky related. "You know, it's funny, we actually have an offer to use our family in a comic strip."

"Not this again," Jesse whined.

"Come on, Jess, girls weren't even taught in a lot of cases, they could see Steph as a class leader, with Michelle referring other kids to her like she does, D.J. interested in law, maybe medicine, now student government…"

"What about Kimmy?" Jesse asked.

"I didn't say it'd be perfect," Becky returned.

Back home, a few days later, Ted was discussing the comic strip with the other Tanners in the living room, including Kimmy and Steve. Stephanie and Michelle were playing a game.

"This was great; just being able to observe you all acting naturally helped," Ted said.

"What did you think of the Student Council meeting yesterday?" Kimmy asked.

Ted chuckled. "I got great material there, too. Although, do you really want me to show you suggesting the school mascot be changed to a smelly foot?"

"I thought it was a great idea," Kimmy said. "Although, D.J. doused some of my other ones. But, when you have the smell scaring the other team, and Paul Bunyan to boot…"

"Kimmy, bunions weren't named after Paul Bunyan," Steve explained.

"They weren't?" Kimmy asked, shocked. "Where are my research people?"

D.J. tried to break it to her gently. "That's, sort of the idea, learning to be on top of things."

"In that case, I better go home and make sure I get my parents' rollerblading strategies right." She rose hastily, with D.J. and Steve following as she went toward the door. "Next week is my bold plan to introduce it into Bayview hallways." She left.

"Sorry, I better follow and try to convince her not to make a bigger fool of herself," D.J. said.

"I'll be there to protect you in case her parents start crashing into people in their living room." Steve and D.J. left, and Stephanie and Michelle stood.

"It's weird - you can be annoyed by someone your whole life and suddenly you wake up and realize they're really funny, too," Stephanie said.

"Her parents said it was okay, too," Ted said. "But, while she can be an important part of it – as can D.J. helping her, and Steve – what my syndicate wants is a comic strip with a family. Remember, some Retro will be adults who it may the first time they've read anything; literacy was very poor in Spanish America, and this could spread to Britain."

"I can just imagine Jane Austen growing up and having her characters call each other 'dude,'" Danny said.

Joey agreed. "Before his change Scrooge would earn a number of 'how rude's."

"And, with a loving family like yours you could add in life lessons and such, too. It doesn't have to cover everything you do; you're just contributing the characters."."

The phone rang. Michelle jumped up to get the phone, and when it was for Joey, she began running with it. "Michelle, stop it, come on, give…" Danny sighed as Stephanie grabbed it from her; Michelle had been carrying it like a loaf of bread so it was easy to snatch.

"Thanks, Steph," Joey said. Danny did likewise but did nothing beyond telling Michelle that it wasn't nice to do that.

Ted raised his eyebrows. "I understand if you want to wait till I leave to announce that you're removing some privilege or…" He was at a loss for words.

"I guess I just get out of the habit sometimes," Danny said.

"In other words, he misses Mom," Stephanie said, sitting next to him and hugging him as Joey left to talk on the phone in the kitchen.

"Thanks, Steph," Danny said as he hugged her. "Plus, things are uncertain with my long-distance relationship with Vicki. But, it's okay; it's not like when I waited till Michelle was almost four to enforce limits. It just doesn't seem like that big of a deal."

"Well…" He thought it'd be better if some discipline was shown in the funnies, but he could discuss that later. It sounded like he usually enforced limits. So, he distracted Michelle saying, "Michelle, do you understand what we've been saying about you being able to be in the funnies."

"Can Comet be in it, too?" Michelle wanted to know.

"Sure, that'd be great."

"Maybe he could talk like Snoopy," Michelle suggested.

"Those are just thought balloons," Stephanie reminded her.

"And, you should show Steph helping everyone in school," Michelle added.

Stephanie sat up quickly. "Yeah, Michelle needed my help her first day of Kindergarten, then she started calling me a genius and sending all these other kids to me, too. I do it this year, too."

"That's super; I'm sure we'll find spots for it…" Ted began, knowing that could be an important part as he had already jotted down that idea.

Michelle wouldn't stop, either. "Make me six, then I can have an early birthday." She was the youngest in her class - though there were a couple other five-year-olds - with her having a mid-November birthday and the cutoff date December 1.

"She loves the fact you want to make her older now, just like having Nicky and Alex be almost two, not ten months," Danny said. "We'll see how she likes it when she turns seven, though."

"That'd be weird if we didn't age. Even when I start falling in love with boys, there'd always be a small part of me that thought boys were weird."

"Well, we haven't decided whether you'd age like normal, stay the same age, or age very slowly after a few years, say a year for ever few or something," Ted said.

Danny wasn't paying attention as D.J., Kimmy, and Steve came back into the room. "That'd be great if they stayed the same; I could always have them my little girls, and never have to worry about D.J. liking boys."

"Dad, what are you talking about?" D.J. insisted on knowing.

Danny turned abruptly. "Deej. Oh, I was just saying, I wish you didn't know any boys… that is, I'm glad you know them, but when you like them… well, the way you like them…"

Kimmy added fuel to the fire when she blurted, "Wow, Deej, I'm glad my parents were just leaving. Here your dad thinks you're Kathy Santoni," she spouted.

D.J.'s ire was raised, but she quickly turned and said, "I'm sure he didn't mean it like that."

"Yes. I mean, no, not like that,' Danny sputtered, "but why do you have to, well…"

"What, Dad, grow up? Go out with guys? Dad, I'm fifteen, I can't stay your little girl skipping off to elementary school forever."

"Not forever, just, well, ten, fifteen more years?" Danny said.

"Sorry, Dad; I'm a teenager, and you're going to have to get used to it," she said, stomping upstairs in a huff, with Kimmy and Steve following.

Meanwhile, in Mexico City, Jesse and his bandstood on stage. "This is amazing," Jesse said. "I know a lot of you still live in poverty, but we're building it up like when President Marshall devised the Marshall Plan for Europe 50 years ago or 150 years from now, depending on how you look at it… what?" he asked Becky, who was standing beside him.

"Jess, Marshall was Secretary of State, Truman was the president," Becky said.

"How come it wasn't the Truman Plan, then?" Jesse shrugged and looked back to the audience. "Oh, well, I never paid much attention in class, and now history's changing anyway. But, the important thing is, when you love someone like I do Becky, it lasts forever." He and his band performed "Forever," as he sung it specifically to Becky.

However, once they were done kissing after the performance, he noticed someone drawing a caricature of the band.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing," Jesse said, stomping off the stage toward him as Becky shook her head.

(End part 1 – this reads shorter because Jesse's singing of "Forever" takes up time, and Michelle running with the phone takes 5-10 seconds in each half)

(Beginning part 2 – teaser is scenes from part 1)

"What's the big idea of drawing us like that?" Jesse spouted at the man.

The drawer apologized. In broken English, he said, "I just want to practice – maybe I can draw your band in the paper."

"Come on, Jess," Becky said as she walked up to him. "Think of what it could mean for your career. It's not like that rap version they wanted to do."

"I know, but… it's one thing to have my band get publicity like that, but it's another thing to be featured in the funnies and hve your hair compared to Dagwood Bumstead's eating habits."

"I think the eating is where Steve comes in. And both might lose an eating conest to Hagar the Horrible," Becky pointed out.

"Okay, whatever. My point is, if he was real Dagwood would have a lot more to him than just a few gags. People wouldn't see the real Jesse in a comic strip. Even if they'll have sequences and not just a gag a day, I'm more than just great hair and Elvis stuff."

"You do have great hair," the Mexican said.

"Thanks." He turned back to Becky. "I just don't like the idea of people seeing me in the funnies every day like I'm some sort of gag. I mean, if Joey wants to be a gag, or Kimmy, who cares? They're already gags."

"Jess, let's give it a chance and at least listen, okay. Besides, there's one important part to you that's easy to see in one panel."

As he and Becky drew closer and began a long kiss, Jesse said, "Have mercy."

Steve walked up to D.J. near the high school's entrance. "All ready, Deej?"

"Just waiting for Kimmy; I just met with the principal, and now he's going over checks and balances with her," D.J. explained.

Steve nodded his understanding. "Oh, like how each class president has certain responsibilities and part of that is to be on a five-person committee with the Student Council president at the head?" he theorized.

"No, more like how the Party Hearty candidates can't suddenly declare a two-month vacation from school or abolish homework."

"Well, I knew we couldn't pass our entire platform," Steve responded. "We didn't even get our entire slate of candidates elected."

"No, but the principal's still worried; he hopes I'll be like Edith Wilson; some say she was Acting President after her husband had a stroke." D.J. hastened to add that, "Some of Kimmy's ideas might be workable in a very different form; like we could get out a week earlier if we abolish the February break starting next year, but if she thinks she can get the entire two weeks before Valentine's Day for boys and girls to ignore schoolwork and just get to know each other…" she said, her voice getting lower at the end as Kimmy approached.

"Hey, Deej." Kimmy merrily handed her a paper. "Look at the compliment I got!"

"The school paper?" D.J. said with shock.

Steve read the place it was folded open to. "Oh, look, a political cartoon. With someone saying, 'Many politicians, when their lips move, you figure they're lying. Not with Kimmy.'"

"Isn't it great, Deej? The writer thinks I'm just like Honest Al." She thought a moment. "Wait, those are his initials."

"Right, it's Abe," Steve reminded her.

"I knew that."

"I'm sure you did. The looks on the faces in this cartoon…" D.J. didn't know how to describe it – there was some joy and relief, but also forlornness and shock.

Kimmy was oblivious. "Just think – people will look at me and say, 'There's an honest politician. Kimmy Gibbler is the kind of leader we need.' Your friends knew what they were doing when they asked me to run, Steve."

"Yeah, and now D.J. will keep you from…" Steve caught D.J.'s look. "Implementing their evil plans."

"They had evil plans? Wow, I wonder what those were. Well, as long as D.J.'s on top of it, we'll be okay," she declared with confidence.

In a Mexico City motel, Jesse hung up the phone. "Well, so far, so good."

"D.J.'s over her frustration with Danny?" Becky asked as she held Nicky and Alex on her lap.

"Actually, I was talking about Kimmy as the centerpiece for that cartoon."

Becky smiled at the twins as Jesse came to sit next to her. "Do you hear Daddy? He just can't get over that the funnies don't mean he'd only be there for laughs." She reminded Jesse, "Think about the good you can do with this, Jess. Not only can your band get more recognition, you can be seen as a great example of fatherhood to millions."

"Yeah, but then there's how I don't wanna get like my dad always yelling so much. I told you, that's why Michelle and I had our famous talks, but I've never been one to enforce limits with her, either. And yet, if I don't let every bit of me show in this thing, I'll feel like I'm closer to just a character and not a real person," Jesse confessed.

"It's okay not to show everything. You know Danny's going to want creative control even if we would agree to be in the funnies. And, if the whole family's used, you'll be one of such a big cast of characters…" Becky let out a small laugh. "I'll sound like Joey when I say this, but while I'm no expert on comics, I don't think any has the number of people we do."

"Don't worry – the minute you said you're not an expert on comics you proved you weren't Joey. Where does he come up with such crazy ideas, anyway?" Jesse wanted to know.

"I don't know," she said continuing as she handed the twins to Jesse, who cuddled them. "But, he knows you're a wonderful, loving father who has helped Danny raise three girls and now has two of the most wonderful boys he could ask for. They love their daddy. And, if there's an occasional joke about your hair, or you loving Elvis, it won't hide the fact you've become a real success as a family man."

"Thanks. I guess I've done a good job; especially with the little munchkin, I could tell when we talked on the phone just now. Yeah, she's kind of a rebel yet, that part of me rubbed off, too. But, I've poured myself into them and it's paid off, hasn't it?" He breathed deeply. "I guess I'll think about it."

With the Tanners in their living room, Joey was practicing his Popeye laugh and voice as D.J. let Steve in. "Well, blow me down."

"You know, people don't hear your voice in a comic strip," Steve said as Kimmy barged in as well.

"We're just trying to see what characters they can show me using," Joey said. "I mean, it's one thing to have my hand doing all three at once when I say 'Cut it out,'" he said, doing the motions he always did. "That's a staple of comics. But, what if I go, 'Rabbit season,' Duck season'?" He did the voices of Daffy Duck and then Bugs Bunny saying those lines.

Kimmy had a suggestion. "Have them draw your head as whoever you're impersonating. Or duckating or rabbitating."

"Snoopy changes clothes. He never changes heads," Michelle insisted.

Stephanie smirked as she thought of a way to confuse Kimmy. "Besides, if you go by that logic, if he's not talking, he shouldn't have a head."

"There would be royalty problems, too," Joey explained.

"I can see Blondo's point, but what's the British Royal Family have to do with it?" Kimmy wanted to know.

"You know, Kimmy, as annoying as it might seem to have you in the comic section every day, you're over here enough anyway, and maybe if you're busy promoting it you won't be over here quite as much," Danny said. The doorbell had rung as he spoke, and he got up to open it. "Hey, Ted, come on in," he welcomed him.

"Speak for yourself, Mr. T.," Kimmy said. "They might use me, but D.J. says they might changing the name of the high school to a generic one. Meanwhile, you can try to get D.J. to watch Sesame Street with you."

"Kimmy, I told you, we talked it over. I told Dad I'm sorry I got upset; I know he gets this way because he misses Mom, or has trouble with change. I'm sure he doesn't expect Steve and I to act like a couple first graders and go play in the sandbox," D.J. explained.

"Although, Steve does like to play in the breadbox," Stephanie quipped.

"If you put a sandwich in it would it be a sandwichbox?" Michelle added.

"Steve walked toward the kitchen. "Good question; I'll find out."

"Of course, as I said, the characters will develop themselves, with your final sayon strips. But, this house sprouts gag ideas the minute I walk in here," Ted said.

D.J. put an arm on Danny's arm. "Dad, I know you wish Mom was here to share this. I do, too. But, we'll make it, no matter what." She and Kimmy went into the kitchen as well.

Danny sat. "She's right; I thought Pam could appear as a ghost, but it'd be hard for me to see myself interacting with her there and not here."

"Same here. So, you think D.J.'d be okay with us staying the same age in the comic strip for a while?" Joey asked.

"For a while, probably. A comic's a great idea, but there's so much to think about. I can see why Jesse's struggling," Danny said

"Yeah, like what role should puppets play?" Joey quipped.

"If D.J. does her job, there'll be one in the tenth grade class presidency," Stephanie remarked.

"Not that kind," Joey said. The phone rang and Michelle picked it up as he spoke. "Although it seems this 'Party Hearty' Party wanted to use Kimmy as a puppet, anyway. So, it's better that D.J.'s helping."

Michelle spoke into the phone. "You want to talk to my dad. Hold on." As Danny approached the phone she ran from him giggling, this time holding the phone closer.

"Michelle, that's not nice," Joey said as Danny started after her.

"Michelle, give me the phone. I told you the last few times you did this it wasn't nice," Danny begged in a level tone.

"He said he'd hold," Michelle said with a laugh as she continued to run around. When Joey got on one side of the couch and Danny got on the other side, she started upstairs till she got to Stephanie, who was blocking the steps. She quickly turned back.

"Michelle, give Dad the phone," Stephanie commanded.

"This is more fun," Michelle said as she evaded Danny and Joey.

"Michelle, I said give me the phone. Michelle, I said…," Danny continued to repeat. "This isn't funny."

Michelle giggled as she ran toward the kitchen door, with other ways blocked, only to see a very irate D.J. standing there. She scooped Michelle up. "Hi, D.J.," she said with a nervous grin as Danny plucked the phone from her hand.

D.J. scolded her while taking a few steps. "That was very rude to Dad and to the person on the other end." She stood her on the ground and grabbed her arm, marching her toward the steps as she spoke. "Even if Dad struggles missing Mom, or Vicki, you know I will not let you keep 'playing' like that."

"I wish I'd stopped when Steph said 'how rude,'" Michelle mourned as D.J. began to march her up the steps.

"Once I finish lecturing you about how rude that was you will sit and look at the wall and think about that," D.J. reprimanded.

Ted turned to Danny and sympathized. "You wonder how to use your late wife? I think part of her's going up to correct Michelle right now."

As Danny held the phone to his ear, he muttered, "I think you're right."

(Commercial break)

"…So, that's what we've decided,' Danny said.

"It should work quite well. As I've said, you'll have creative control and veto power, we'll come up with other things, too, for your characters but you'll be the basis. And, don't worry, Kimmy," Ted said as D.J. came down with Michelle, who looked sad. "Your presidency will definitely get good playing time."

"Cool. I wonder if any school has ever used 'Stink Bombs' for a team name," Kimmy said.

Joey chuckled. "Only in the funnies could that work."

"If the school actually approved that…" Ted brightened as he saw D.J.. "But, your friend D.J. will keep things from getting too wild, I'm sure."

"Oh, well, if we're the same age for a few years, maybe next year," Kimmy remarked

"I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to embarrass yourself," Danny told her as she left. "Hey, Princess," he said sweetly to Michelle as she walked up to him.

"I'm sorry I was so rude, Daddy," Michelle said as he lovingly picked her up and they embraced. "Was it important?"

"Someone from work, but they understand. I told them D.J. had things in control so it wouldn't happen again," Danny replied.

"I can't wait to answer it nice and give someone the phone right away," Michelle blurted.

Joey was glad to hear it, too. "We're sure you will, Michelle."

Ted agreed. "Me, too. And, if you wouldn't mind, a daily strip showing you doing that and then the last panel in the corner saying what you did about wishing you'd stopped when Stephanie said that would be good."

"Sure; Michelle's a sweet, good-natured kid who gets carried away at times like the modern Dennis the Menace," Joey said. "And, like Dennis, a lecture and time in the corner will solve it."

"Right, he's been toned way down from the first couple decades," Ted elaborated, "when he was like Calvin and Hobbes. It's clear just a talk and some time to think works well with her. But, that's where I say, Mr. Tanner, you'll all have creative control over what can be used," Ted said.

"Or chores or taking some privilege away, sure," Joey pointed out.

"Especially dessert, huh?" Stephanie said. She and Michelle shared a knowing grin.

"It sounds like D.J. has to discipline at times, but if readers know why Mr. Tanner's lax – he misses Pam – it'll be very understandable for a 1790s audience. Mortality rates are higher and older children commonly step into that role," Ted analyzed. "If an occasional one like I just described is okay, it'll really help Retros see you – or D.J. – lovingly enforce limits without being too harsh. The harshest punishment would only be for a kid like Angelica if she kept being really mean to the other Rugrats."

"That's just what D.J. says would happen to her," Michelle piped up. She turned to D.J. and spoke admiringly. "You really do know your stuff," she finished as the phone rang again. She jumped up. "I'll get it." She picked it up. "Hello? Sure, he's right here." She handed it to Danny. "It's for you, Daddy."

"Thanks, sweetheart." He gave her a peck on the cheek and small squeeze before going into the kitchen to talk on the phone.

"An image like that's easier for a comic strip panel than a thought balloon saying, 'No dessert,' too," Ted remarked. "Although, if you like chocolate like some girls a few funny comics could come from that."

"Yeah, like an eating contest where we think we could even beat Steve if we had his food's weight in chocolate," Stephanie joked.

"How about a dream sequence where a genie grants you anything, and instead of riches or something you just wish for endless cookies," Joey quipped.

Ted suggested, "Even more outlandish – crawling through a bunch of chocolate and eating it like Pacman."

Michelle looked down a little. "No way, Jose. After that talk D.J. had with me…" she shook her head.

"Wait," Ted said, shocked. "That happened? Even at just one I wouldn't think…" And, at that age she likely wouldn't remember something four years later, anyway, he considered.

He was more stunned when Stephanie said, "Try a week shy of four" as D.J. picked Michelle up and held her. "For half a minute. Dad didn't stop her or correct her. He still missed Mom, and was sad Uncle Jesse might move out." She hoped turning the focus to Danny would deflace attention from Michelle.

Joey explained. "Jesse was close to getting married; Danny wouldn't even tell Michelle he and Becky might move, he hated the idea of change so much. And, Danny only started punishing Michelle with time in the corner a few weeks before, so he still had trouble with things."

"It was up to you to keep it from happening again, huh, D.J.?" Ted said in a compassionate tone.

Michelle spoke up as D.J. nodded. "I started to be a good princess. D.J. said she'd be tougher than Daddy'd ever be with a really, really bad one."

"You shaped up fast. Just like I knew you would. We all helped, so I wouldn't have to be that tough," D.J. reminded her as they hugged.

She'd have been really gentle, trying hard to only hurt Michelle's feelings. And she'd known Michelle would listen if she just mentioned getting way tougher. But, she'd felt trapped – there just weren't that many privileges one could remove or chores one could give to a kid who'd just turned four. And, she left out how defiant Michelle had begun to get before that talk a short time after the incident with the cake samples.

Instead, D.J. simply concluded, "It's probably too embarrassing for her character to do that. It embarrasses me I had to sound so tough, even though I knew just talking would be enough."

Stephanie spoke up. "If we're leaving things out so our characters didn't do them, that time I wrecked Joey's car when I was eight needs left out, too. I felt like I was doing all the cleaning with Dad that spring."

"I understand completely with both. We'll leave out anything that's too embarrassing," Ted reassured her.

"Thanks." D.J. was glad. Maybe they could just allude to a "really serious talk" over something like that, but she'd much rather leave it to other comic strips to have someone say it wouldn't have hurt except in the really wild kid's heart. Maybe, D.J. considered, that would be enough for even a kid as defiant as Angelica had been a time or two on Rugrats.

For now, D.J. stopped thinking about comic strips – she felt like she was getting to be like Joey – as Ted mentioned a real life problem she had.

"Just like you said, D.J., about helping with Kimmy's class presidency, so it doesn't get too embarrassing for her," Ted said.

Kimmy walked back in the front door. "Hey, I just remembered – if you want something really funny, you'll have to include my first date. We started a giant food fight in a movie theater at the mall, and it spread to the food court. I came home in a squad car," she finished excitedly.

"Somehow, I have a feeling I'll need to compromise somewhere when it comes to watching over her 'creative control' of her character," D.J. said thoughtfully.

Days later, Jesse and Becky were relaxing with Danny and the others, minus D.J., Kimmy, and Steve.

"So, it sounds like everything's ready, huh?" Jesse asked.

"Sure. You know, Jess, if you really don't want to…" Danny hedged.

"Nah, it's okay. I'll go along with it. It's not like I'm the focus or anything. I mean, with far fewer characters, you look at how rarely…" Jesse threw back his head. "I don't believe it, I was about to compare myself to a comic strip character."

Becky chuckled. "And, in the time you are, you'll mostly just be playing music or being thrat great loving father and uncle."

"And, overreacting if your hair gets messed up,' Joey teased.

"Just don't do it in real life," Jesse warned Joey. He grinned and told Danny, "It's okay, though. Seriously, I'm close enough to the little munchkin I'd almost have to be there to explain where she gets some of her behavior. Right, Michelle?" he asked as Michelle climbed into his lap.

"D.J.'s character's proactive, though. That means she stops bad behavior before it starts,' Michelle explained.

"Something like that. Hey, Deej," Danny said as she, Steve, and Kimmy came in the door. Ted followed. "How did the Student Council meeting go?"

"You'd be proud of Kimmy, Mr. Tanner," Steve responded. "I hear she gave a great, rousing speech against alcohol."

"What was the punch line?" Danny asked.

D.J. explained. "She suggested we get limitless soda pop so we can show off our belching abilities without alcohol."

"Hey, as long as guys are going to compete, it might as well be fun," Kimmy said with a shrug.

"That might make a good lead-in to how your late wife died," Ted said. Danny nodded.

"Yeah, that's a good point. Show Kimmy doing that early, after we're introduced, we can mention that drunk driver that killed Pam, and how we hurt but got through it. We could have a positive impact, couldn't we?" Jesse asked Becky.

"I'm sure we will," Becky concurred.

A couple weeks passed. To allow for 56 weeks of strips to be done in advance the comic strip was planned to begin at the start of November.

"I got a computer with e-mail now specifically for this," Danny said.

He sat down at the computer across from the alcove where Joey slept his first few weeks there, and along the wall with the many photo albums and tapes in front of the couch. It was in a very open place to everyone so what was being viewed could be seen, to make it safer.

The rest of the Tanners plus Kimmy gathered around. "Here they are." D.J. turned to Stephanie. "It's so exciting."

"I know, it's like when Minnie had the puppies. We're about to see a whole new group of characters being born," Stephanie said.

"And, here's our first strip – you three girls and I," Danny commented. "Perfect – and Michelle's joke about D.J. agreeing she's like a mom since Mom died is great."

"And there I am helping just like I say in the first one." Stephanie chuckled. "'A mile is 5,280 feet.' 'How many toes is that.' That's funny."

Joey reminded her, "Michelle graduated from my Comedy College with top honors."

"Hey, I never got a cap and gown," Michelle reminded him.

"We'll figure something out," Joey promised.

Becky noticed Jesse chuckling at a strip from later in the week. "I knew you'd enjoy being in this once you saw it," she declared emphatically.

"It's not that, it's…" He chuckled again. "Okay, my line about Kimmy being a 'no class president' is pretty funny. I guess this thing'll be okay after all."

"I know you're a little self-conscious sometimes," Becky said. "But, there might not be a chance to make a joke about your hair or your Elvis obsession or anything like that for months."

"A lot of times they want simple stuff till a strip gets established," Joey explained. "If your hair was going to be a main character, that would have come really fast, since since the idea is a loving family, they'll wait a long while."

"If my hair was…" Jesse stopped himself and asked, astounded, "what's next, saying Dagwood sandwiches are actual creatures?"

"Maybe that's why you never see one in his mouth," Stephanie offered.

Kimmy's eyes grew wide. "You mean it's a stunt sandwich just posing there? Wow, I never thought of that. Anyway, am I in the comic strip yet?" Kimmy asked expectantly.

D.J. shook her head. "They're saving you for next week. Then, later in the month, you'll be giving a speech, and it'll lead to us talking about how our mom died because of a drunk driver. They said it'll be a good Thanksgiving sequence."

"Cool. Anyway, I better go. My brother Garth sent stuff from clown college. People said I acted like a clown in the class Presidency, so I want to look the part." Kimmy left.

"She'll get more than her share of gags if she wants," Joey said with certainty.

Jesse snickered. "You got that right, Joey. I guess this was a good move. I just hope they show all the good stuff. My band, how much I love being here." He put an arm around Becky. "My relationship with the most wonderful woman in the world." They shsred a small kidd, and Becky beamed thankfully at him.

"I'm sure they will, Jess. We can approve stuff and make suggestions," Becky pointed out.

"Sure. When they show Michelle cracking jokes like that one, it'll show how I've become part of her life. With you, some might look at the rebel, but deep down, I think they'll see, after a while, that you and Michelle are really close, too. Even if it is implied Michelle's a bit closer to D.J. in it," Joey analyzed.

Danny smiled. "And Pam brought up in that first strip… that's the way it should be. Mom's been such a part of all this. Even if she hasn't been here physically to enjoy it."

"Plus, we know we'll see her again," Stephanie said.

Michelle agreed. "Maybe we can have some funny jokes on the church van."

D.J. smiled. She'd trusted in Jesus Christ to save her from her sins by dying for her and rising from the dead. Stephanie had also called on Jesus to forgive her and save her, back when she'd wrecked Joey's car. And, Jesse had done so around the time of Pam's funeral, as he knew he needed forgiveness for the way he'd rebelled. Whether someone like him or a "good kid" like D.J., everyone needed to accept that Jesus had paid the whole price to get them to Heaven, since nobody was perfect; all one had to do was call on Him gby faith, believing He was God in the flesh and what He'd done would save them by simple faith when they chose to trust in Him.

"That faith is so important," D.J. agreed. "So it'll show us praying occasionally, or mentioning God making everything; that might make it appeal to more Retro audiences, too." She paused. "Maybe Mom could be shown looking down from heaven a time or two. I don't know." She was a little uncertain about how she'd want that shown.

"I know, it's hard to know for sure. But, we've got a long time to work these things out the way we want them." Danny put his arms about the girls. "For now,w hat's important is that we've got the start of a really fun comic strip that will help people a lot. I'm so glad I can share it with you." D.J., Stephanie, and Michelle all agreed as they embraced.

* * *

(Author's endnote: I only mention one other different episode from our world in that roleplay - Samantha Smith survives and as a young adult appears on the show as herself to encourage Stephanie as Steph struggles with her identity in middle school. (our timeline she died in a plane crash, after making a name for herself while a young teen.) It would replace the one after Papouli (Jesse's grandparents would be said to have been in the US when the Event sends it to 1783).

However, I do mention that eventually they start aging the characters in the "Full House" comic strip. I don't have many ideas for what happens in it, but one very special idea comes to mind. Lynn Johnston's "For Better Or For Worse" doesn't continue in the world where the USA is copied from 1983 and sent back to 1783 since it's Canadian. And, once the "Full House characters begin aging in the funnies, there would have to be a way to show Comet dying. So, since I felt the way the FBOFW dog Farley went out was so special, well, I do think it'd be so sweet if they did that with Comet in that universe.

Someone else can write that fic, though (with FH characters acting as themselves, but for an added challenge trying to do it like a "Full House" comic strip would do it, or close anyway.) I won't spoil it, except to say that if you haven't read about Farley's death, you'll likely need tissues. And, it would probably convert in this universe fairly well to the "Full House" universe.


End file.
